


vacillate

by RustyWrites_Draws



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Sleepy Bois Inc, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Author projects onto Tommyinnit, Hurt/Comfort, I'm just bullshitting most of this, Panic Attacks, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Piglin Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), This is 1000 words of me projecting, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, p.........potato, so i made a second chapter, this was supposed to be short, vent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:13:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29890605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RustyWrites_Draws/pseuds/RustyWrites_Draws
Summary: Tommy deals with intrusive thoughts.I just projected onto Tommy with my limited knowledge of the Dream SMP, please forgive me if any of this is off. I tried.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Kudos: 29





	1. All is well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title was taken from the song of the same name by Oliver Buckland.

Tommy didn’t know entirely what he was doing outside of his family’s shared house in the snow, but at least he was bundled up. All he had told Phil was that he was gonna go ‘clear his head’, whatever the hell that meant. He had heard Wilbur use the term, though, whenever he was having bad thoughts. He walked along a small cliffside before sitting down on a log, thinking to himself.

“So, you decided to leave again? Instead of telling anyone about your issues?” A voice purred behind him. Tommy didn’t need to look back to know who it was. “What do you want, you bitch?” He snapped, closing his eyes.

It giggled. “Well now, Tommy, that’s no way to talk to a  _ friend _ is it?” Tommy tensed, he had half a mind to know this thing couldn’t be killed, but God, he sure did want to fucking slaughter it.

“I thought Tubbo and Fundy got rid of you,” He huffed. “Why do you even keep coming back?” It chuckled again. Tommy felt sick from hearing it alone. “Why? I thought you were smarter than that, Tommy!” It floated around to face him, amber eyes burning holes into him just from staring. “I’m here to remind you how worthless you are. Do you want examples?”

Tommy sighed shakily and stood up. “Shut the fuck up.”

The Dreamon grabbed Tommy by the arm and shoved him into the snow. “First off, you can’t even tell anyone about me because they’ll think you’re insane, then they’ll shove you in a mental hospital.”

“You’re not real,” Tommy hissed, backing into a tree after standing up. “You’re not real, go away!”

“You’re talking to yourself, you really are insane! Besides, you’re too much of a pussy to tell anyone about your feelings, so instead you just bottle it all up and then you lash out!”

“Shut up.”

“And to top it all off, you don’t even know who you are half the time! The old you is already dead anyways, Tommy. Why don’t you just give up? The cliff’s right there.”

“ _ Shut up! _ ” Tommy yelled, going to punch at it, but instead being shoved off the cliff. His breath was caught in his throat as the Dreamon disappeared, and he fell into the snowbank below.

When he finally came back to his senses, his entire body ached. He was sitting at the bottom of the snowbank he’d just fallen down, and his leg was twisted at an awkward angle. He tried to move it, but instead let out a cry as a stabbing jolt of pain ran through his leg.

_ I don’t wanna die like this. _

* * *

Wilbur paced around outside anxiously. Tommy wasn’t back, it had been almost an hour. Phil stepped outside, and Wilbur stopped. “He’s still not back?”

Wilbur shook his head, staring at the cliffside near their home. “Can we go look for him?” He asked, glancing as Techno also stepped outside. “If we do, we’ll cover more ground by splitting up,” The Piglin hybrid pointed out.

Phil nodded. “I’ll look in the woods, Techno, can you take the trail to the west village and ask around?” Techno nodded and started heading that way. “I’ll check at the bottoms of the cliffs,” Wilbur quickly said. “Since the northern village is that way anyways.”

Phil nodded, hugged Wilbur, told him to stay safe, and left. Wilbur quickly went to the snowbank at the bottom of the cliffs, eyes scanning for where his little brother could actually be. It made him all the more worried that it was getting late, since mobs and snow don’t go well together.

And just when he was worried he wouldn’t find him, he did. “Tommy?!” Wilbur shouted, rushing over to his brother. “Tommy, are you okay?”

Tommy winced as he did his best to sit up. “What does it look like, dipshit?” He laughed, although it sounded more like a sob. Wilbur felt his heart drop as he looked at Tommy’s twisted leg. “Shit. Toms, I’m gonna get you back home, okay?” The boy nodded and Wilbur scooped him up, doing his best to not touch Tommy’s broken leg, and started the trek back home. As soon as they got back, Techno was on the porch. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but shut it as he looked at Tommy’s current condition. He helped Wilbur set down their brother on the couch, leg propped up, and Techno went out to find Phil.

Wilbur didn’t know much on how to help Tommy, but he got him out of his winter clothing and tried his best to make him comfortable. He turned on the stove and grabbed the mug Tommy liked the most (Wilbur had actually drawn it himself, it was a doodle of Tommy holding a diamond sword). He grabbed the ingredients he’d need and got to work on making hot chocolate, enough for the two of them. He finished making them and filled their mugs, setting Tommy’s on the table next to him. Wilbur waited for his own to cool, and Tommy said he’ll drink it later.

Wilbur stared at the hot chocolate. It had little peppermint pieces on it. Phil first taught him how to make it. In the back of his mind, Wilbur knew he was just distracting himself, but he didn’t have to for long, since Techno and Phil both arrived back home. Phil immediately got to work on wrapping Tommy’s leg in bandages, and by the time they were done Wilbur had gone upstairs to read. He didn’t know what had happened, but he was sure Phil would have Tommy explain in the morning. He sighed, thoughts jumbled. He’d worry about it in the morning. Tommy would be fine.


	2. As saddened souls we roam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saw people liked this, went fuck it and wrote a second chapter. Feedback is appreciated.
> 
> Full disclosure I was listening to this: https://youtu.be/DWoY2NdkXOE So that's where the chapter title came from

When Tommy woke up, the first thing he noticed was his head hurt. The second thing was that his leg was wrapped up. The third was the same Dreamon that attempted to kill him standing at his door.

Now, any normal person would likely freak out, but all he felt now was numbness. He didn’t even say anything, not wanting to risk someone hearing. Judging from the sunlight pooling in through his window, it was around maybe 9am.

“You’re distracting yourself, Tommy, what’s wrong?” He felt sick. He didn’t want to talk to it. He didn’t he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t-

Tommy didn’t even realize he had attempted to cover his face until the Dreamon grabbed his wrists and forced them apart again. “Tommy, what’s wrong?” It repeated. “Why are you talking to me, I’m your  _ best friend _ , after all!”

Tommy growled and narrowed his eyes. “We’re not friends, asshole.”

It feigned mock sadness at his statement. “But Tommy, I tried to help you!”

“What have you ever done to help me?!”

“I helped you do what you were too scared to do yourself.”

Tommy froze. “No, shut up,” He snapped, attempting to grab it (Of course, it didn’t work. It never did). “I wouldn’t fucking off myself, you tried to fucking kill me!”

He heard a knock at his door and the concerned voice of his dad. “Tommy, are you awake?”

The Dreamon giggled and lingered behind him. They were both aware nobody else could see it. “Yeah, I’m awake, dad!” Tommy called, sitting up and pretending he was at least slightly okay. Phil entered the room and sat down a bowl of what looked to be potato soup. He sat on the edge of his son’s bed and smiled at him. “How ya feeling, bud?” He asked, looking at Tommy.

Tommy forced a smile, trying not to flinch as this... thing kept grabbing him and trying to get him to react. “Yeah, my leg just kinda hurts.”

Phil nodded. “I expected as much,” He said. “You broke it.”

Tommy’s face dropped momentarily. “Oh..” He had never actually broken a limb before (Well, maybe when he was little, but that was a story for a different time), but he’d live  _ (If the Dreamon didn’t kill him first) _ .

Phil looked distracted and Tommy tipped his head slightly. His dad glanced back at him. “Tommy, it’s okay for you to say no, but can you tell me what happened yesterday?”

He knew this conversation was coming. He didn’t want to talk about it that much, but he needed to. He couldn’t keep bottling this u- “Are you  _ really _ going to bother him with your problems?”  _ Stop... _ He desperately thought, he just wanted to be okay again. “You should’ve died anyways, so why are you even tr-”

“I’m sorry,” Tommy blurted out, shutting the Dreamon up. “What are you sorry for, Toms?” Phil asked, looking concerned again.

He sighed and brought his good leg to his chest. “I don’t know where to start...” He mumbled.

“Start with what happened last night, if you can.”

“Do you... remember the Dreamon Tubbo and Fundy got rid of for me?” Tommy asked, almost flinching as it dug its claws into his shoulders. “...I do. Why do you mention it?”

“They didn’t get rid of it,” He breathed. “It-It’s following me, I can’t do anything about it, nobody can see it, it-it-” He realized he was slipping into a panic attack and Phil rested a hand on his shoulder and tried to reassure him with a soft smile. “Toms, it’s gonna be okay. What did it do?”

“It pushed me off the damn cliff, I-I-” He hiccuped, actually crying now. “It tried to kill me. I’m so scared.” He started sobbing after that, and Phil held him. “Shh, it’s okay Toms. I won’t let it hurt you anymore. We’ll figure this out.”

Tommy was scared. That wasn’t a lie in the slightest. At some moments he felt himself slipping back into the mental state of when he was in exile, relying on this fucking thing and dear God he was scared and angry and he wanted to fucking get rid of it  **and God why wouldn’t it go away go away go away go away go**

He passed out from stress some time after that.

* * *

Techno was worried sick, even if he’d never say it. He had made food for Tommy, of course (Potatoes, it was always potatoes).

“Techno?” Phil called from the top of the stairs. The Piglin hybrid looked up from sharpening his ax (It was that time of year). “Yeah?”

“I need to make a trip to L’Manberg. I need you and Wilbur to watch over Tommy for me.”

Well. Techno wasn’t expecting that. He debated asking why but decided against it. “Alright. Stay safe, Phil.”

“I will.”


End file.
